Speed Date

So, August, tell me about yourself. Tell me why you’re the one for me.

‘Well, I’m very very warm.”

Warm is good, that’s true, but I hope you don’t mind me saying that you come across as a bit tooo warm. In fact, really a bit oppressively warm. As in, I don’t want to do anything at all with you because you are so warm. I just want to hide in the shade with ice cream and perhaps a cocktail.  And if I had an adult size paddling pool that would be even better. 

“But that’s good!  I help you appreciate the shade and enjoy that ice cream and how grateful you are for your garden hose!”

That’s true, August, that’s true you do.  But I also feel like others will be judging me when I’m with you - saying we should be out at the beach, enjoying the sun, doing this, doing that, getting a tan…..watering my allotment which is probably wilting as we speak - but it’s just too hot and I have no hose there……

“Why don’t you just get one? You could leave it to run while you potter about first thing in the morning, job done. Then into the shade with a clear conscience.”

You make a fair point August.  A hose with cool water is a joyful thing.  I do miss a nice hot bath…..but there we are. 

“A little seabathing could set you up forever…..”

Cheeky, August, cheeky.  Doesn’t do it for me I’m afraid.

“Fresh fruit - peaches, nectarines, plums, figs….

All good but I feel I should be doing something with them, other than just eating them….galettes, tarts, cakes, preserves….

“Hey, you do you.  Sit around with fruit and ice cream.” 

Ok.  August, I think maybe this could work.  I can see myself sitting in the shade with a book and fruit and ice cream, buying a pre-roasted chicken so I don’t have to heat our entire home with the oven, doing marinaded courgettes and quick cucumber pickles.  

A cool shower, a cocktail, dinner. 

We’re getting there.  But, there is something big.  Something we’ve reall-lly got to get to grips with. It’s a bit of a deal-breaker….

“Well?” 

Impending doom.

“Whaat??”

Yeah, I know.  But there it is.  Must be ingrained since childhood….six weeks of summer holidays gone, over half, beyond recall…..soon it’ll be time for new school things even though it’s far too hot to think of school….plus the days are shortening even now, I can tell, later sunrise, earlier sunset….

“Right.  Well, I am no psychiatrist, just a pretty simple guy really.  I don’t have June’s delicate romance, July’s pizzazz….September’s sense of purpose, but I think I’ve got something to teach you that you definitely need.”

Yeah?  

“How to relax.” 

It’s hard to relax, when I’m hot, not getting anything done, waiting for September to feel motivated, yet with an unutterable feeling of sadness hanging over me. 

“Let go of sadness. You’re not a child, you don’t have to go back to school and you can buy new clothes and notebooks whenever you feel the need.  I’m here now to teach you to relax.  I can see you’re very conscientious, but sometimes you need to chill out and that’s where I’m your man, that’s what I am alllll about.”

Right.  Ok August, let’s give this a try. 

“Don’t try, that’s the whole point.  Let go.”