Robin of Coton
Right, I said to myself.
Today you simply must impress the missus. She’d given me that look. That ‘I may be stuck with you for the minute, but by Jove you’d better pull your socks up mate, or you’ll see what happens the minute I can leave this bloody place!’ look. I’d seen it a few times lately and things were getting a little dicey. I really needed to pull something out of the ground. Not just any old thing though, something that would really make her whistle.
I flitted here and there but didn’t see anything worth bothering about. Right, I thought, the buffet it is. So I headed over to the cobblestones but despite keeping a keen eye, only found a few morsels, definitely nothing worth going home with! (Before the eggs arrived, I had no idea how much she managed to put away in a day - you wouldn’t think it to look at her! But now that I’m doing all the hopping for both of us I’m sure I’m losing my fluff! I just can’t keep up.) Finally, I spotted a decent sized gnat. On its own though, it wasn’t worth the commute back to the nest. I needed something else, but it seemed like I’d exhausted all my options.
Suddenly, two female humans with those fluffy things called scones sat down and I had an idea so brilliant I was fair gobsmacked - THIS IS IT!!!! - I’ve had crumbs from scones before and they’re lush. But this was a plan so bold in both design and execution that I had to move fast before I chirped myself out of it. In the end it was easier than I thought it would be. I fluttered up to the back of a chair and the human didn’t even notice. I swooped down and snagged a decent size crumb of the scone before jumping quickly away. Nothing happened - so I put stage 2 in motion and hopped back to beak up a bit of the fluffy cream from the other human’s plate - Still no reaction!! I saw some nearby humans watching me but there was no movement at this table - so back to plate one for another bit of scone and boom!!! Beakful baby!! I headed home and you should have seen the size of her eyes when she spied my haul. Softened her right up I can tell you. ‘What’s this called my love?’ A whole new tone to her chirps, she didn’t sound the same bird. But quick, what to call it?? Scone, gnat, cream and scone …. nothing standing out ….. I modestly dipped my head and said ‘Oh, I just call it a ‘Coton’ my dear.’
